The ice bucket challenge: why are people pouring cold water on celebrities?

Everyone from Oprah Winfrey to Justin Bieber is queuing up to douse themselves in freezing liquid in front of the cameras. So what's behind this latest craze?

Mickey Rourke undergoes the ice bucket challenge on the US Late Night programme. Photograph: NBCU Photo Bank via Getty Images

Age: Around nine months.

Appearance: Freezing cold and soaking wet. Basically an average British summer, but this time with celebrities.

Oh good, I like celebrities! Everyone likes celebrities, especially when they're pouring water over themselves on the internet.

In a sexy way? Should I alert the Sidebar of Shame? Don't do that. The ice bucket challenge isn't sexy at all. That is, unless the sight of people screaming in genuine discomfort is the sort of thing that gets you going, you pervert.

Let's start this again. What is the ice bucket challenge? A person gets a bucket of ice water tipped over their head. Then they nominate two of their friends, who have 24 hours to tip a bucket of ice water over their own heads.

And why should we care? Because celebrities are doing it. Chris Pratt did it. Robert Downey Jr did it. The Rock did it. Conan O'Brien did it.Justin Bieber sort of did it. Oprah Winfrey even did it. And she nominated Steven Spielberg. This will never end.

And this self-satisfied circlejerk is what passes for entertainment now, is it? A load of celebrities showing off to their celebrity mates in public? The ice bucket challenge makes me sick. Everyone involved makes me sick. This is awful. It's for charity.

Oh. Sorry, perhaps I should have mentioned that earlier.

What charity? They're raising money for the ALS Association, to research the motor neurone disease amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. In Britain, the money goes to Macmillan Cancer Support.

I still can't see the connection between amyotrophic lateral sclerosis and ice water. Although pouring water over yourself on the internet for charity has been around since last winter, it only went viral when the family of Pete Frates, a baseball player who was diagnosed with ALS two years ago, started their own campaign.

Could you have told me that before I kicked off? I look like a right monster now. Look, we've all been there.

Do say: "What a clever way to harness social media to raise awareness for an important cause."

Don't say: "I nominate Pass notes for the ice bucket challenge."